I went out with Khris today.

We met up at church then did lunch and a movie.

I had a great time. With the jokes and flirting. It felt so nice and exciting. It hadn't been like that with Shaun. Or not recently anyway.

Khris acted like a gentleman and opened doors and paid for everything. I could tell he was a little nervous but he eventually held my hand during the movie then moved to having his arm around me and stroking my arm and pulling me close. It made my heart race just to feel him around me. No kiss happened but perhaps next time. I don't want to rush anything at all. I really really want a good friendship with him and then maybe a relationship.

I am smiling as i write this.  I can't wait to hang out with him again.

Why is everything is life painful?

Especially when it comes to love.

Things are not good and i don't know what to do.

Don't tell me how to do things just to make you feel better.

What if you did something for me? What if i truly needed you?

Why love? Is it really worth it? Won't i be fine alone?

I am done

so fucking done

If you can't understand that then thats your own damn fault.

I don't want to be with you anymore.